Still I Love You

Don’t..! Do not come into my dreams

I am old, my heart is weak, my vigor exhausted 

I went farther than you could ever imagine

From where there is no returning, I am tired

Shed those beautiful eyes, it’s killing me

Stab me, kill me, drown me but get out of my head

Do not sneak into my mind in the middle of night

Days are already long

Allow me some rest, return me to life

Your innocent face, those lively smile, 

your smell, touch, feelings, sensation

And those eyes still peer deep into my soul

How is it ever possible 

for a heart to fall for someone so much

A curse or a boon, 

whole world combined couldn’t contain

Insanity beyond cure, reason unfathomable 

Am I dead or alive, more like a walking dead

How could I not know where I am heading

How could you not see that

if that is ever a love…

                                                          still xoxo


An excerpt from a Hindi song I had often hummed

मेरे प्यार की उमर हो इतनी सनम 

तेरे नाम से शुरू, तेरे नाम पे खतम

तेरी खुशी से है, खुशी, तेरे ग़म से है ग़म,  

तेरे नाम  से शुरू, तेरे नाम पे खतम


This much be the life line of my love

May it begin with your name and ends there

In your happiness let it find its joy

And in your sorrow, its pain



Estranged Love

You whispered in those familiar ears, “I Love you”

And pulled me close to bury in your warm bosom 

You cried in those barren chest your emotional outburst

At the mere thought of him stalking and settling here 

You hauled helplessness and truthfulness of your intention

And defended your bearing with half truth and tall tales

I remember how your hands froze at his mere text

Your constant looking over your shoulder in sheer fear

You sought solace in heart you stabbed over and again 

Alas you blame the heart of its sincerity, and its pain

Estranged love, estranged life and few estranged words

estranged peace! 



Joyful pain

The words light up

Chime satiate my dried ears

Reading down the lines

It brings joy unknown 

And pain unsaid 

Yet desire alighted

In forlorn heart

Smile in silence of pain

Joy amidst solitude of world

And pain unsaid 




Promise unfulfilled, road half trod

Love half shared and a void life

Ego at the pinnacle, devour everything

Dwindling sight and a blinded reason

Alas… alas… alas…                                              



Mocking fate


With all the words
What now have become of us
No less is fate a laughing stock
Ridiculed determinations and hopes
Loiter now a complete vagabond

Destiny on its own design
Soar free and independent
Me like a dust beneath its wings
Blew in my insignificance
Without any say before its wind

For once I deluded myself
To reign the fate with my prowess
For what now have become of us
Of all the words and promises
What remain is but fate’s laughter
Echoing through the walls of solitude



Highway Love

On a highway,
Black car, red car, blue car, white car, brown car, yellow car, silver car, grey car
Big Cars, small cars, heavy trucks, long bus
On a highway
All rushing, all speeding, some up, some down
but all in all only in two directions yet destination diverse

In a bus,
Fat man, thin girl, tall man, young woman, old granny, cranky baby
Young lovers, sleepy couple
Silent bus, many travelers, sitting, sleeping, reading, dozing, playing, eating, all sitting, all waiting

In a bus,
Black thoughts, white thoughts, Asian thoughts, Chinese thoughts, Mexican thoughts, brown thoughts, world of thoughts
all filled every space and corner of a bus

In a bus
all traveling, all sitting, all waiting but arrive separately

like you and me, our love




As I leaned on that cold iron railing

As the ashes fly from my cigaret

As the cold December wind blow

As the smoke I blew in silence air

My sight travelled across yonder horizon

In complete emptiness where reason dissolve

Amidst fizzle grey sky kisses the cold earth

Ember in my cigaret crouches beneath its cold ashes

Thoughts conflict against the chill in wind 

As I prepare to make my journey as cold it behold 

Blue smoke escaped between my parched lips 

It dashes unto the coldness of wind

In a fraction it bequeath its warmth from my chest

Mould itself in chill and disappear in thin air